It has died. 4 years of service and comfortable sitting.

The Old Testament:
God creates the universe and sees that his shit is serious business, he makes Adam and Eve and gives them a pretty garden to frolic in. Satan decides to have some fun and troll the shit out of Eve, he turns himself into a snake tells her to eat an apple or gtfo. She chooses the apple because there is no kitchen option and subsequently God gets his shit ruined so he throws Adam and Eve out. Incest follows and then we get the Human race, which explains a lot really.
Later God gets his shit ruined for a second time about some Pharaoh Hitler V1.0 pwning all the Jews and making them build his shit. God gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe and Moses tells the slaves to gtfo. Slaves run away and he makes the sea open with his cheat codes so that the Jews can run through and then he drowns Hiter 1.0. Some other shit happens but its all gay and stupid.

The New Testament.
God finds Mary sleeping and sticks the tip in and blows his load. Nine months later, Jesus is born, on his 13th birthday God gives Jesus even better cheats than he gave Moses and the open source code for the Universe. Later Jesus becomes hardcore and trolls the oldschool Jews hardXXXcore. The Jews got all pissed off and nailed him to some cross thing but forgot that he had enabled sv_cheats 1 and turned noclip on. 3 days later Jesus inputs mp_restart and reboots shit and laughs at the Jews. Then a bunch of fags write up a biography on Jesus except for Paul, he writes how sex is bad and all this shit that Jesus never spoke about and everyone believes Paul because their fucking stupid.


On a side note, Hitler was a good guy, he was getting back at the Jews for killing Jesus, true story.

If I sound cold, sour or offensive during this post, too bad.

Forgive me if some errors are present during your reading expierence, I try my best but alas, I'm writing this on my Ipod. We'll get to that later.

So during my life I've learned alot of things, from the birds ans the bees to triginomotry. One of the things I havn't had the privledge of having come natural is the social aspect of things. From an early age I never fit in, I was the kid who sat by himself eating from his power ranger lunch box while everyone was playing. What I did learn, however, was my number one rule;

People are stupid.

I had my first real individual thoughts around the age of 11, right around the time I moved from NSW to my current residence in Queensland. During this time I discovered some amazing things, but I'll get to those in a little bit. As a loner child I read alot, now, while most people think reading is stupid, I learnt amazing things, one of those is the game of life. It goes like this:

1) Enjoy yourself.
2) No matter what, never take anything seriously, when you do it becomes no fun and you break rule 1.
3) Everyone else is always wrong.
4) Things like "popularity" "fashion" "MTV" and whatever else kids are into these days are all shit. Quit being fucking sheep and think for yourself, its alot more fun. As soon as your worried about what you look like, what the current trends are and what some idiot on tv looks like is the moment you start living a fake life.

Now, as alot of my friends know, I have a strange persona, this is due to a social disorder I inherited from my grandfather. Aspirgers syndrome in a nutshell is ment to essentially make me socially inept, a kitten in a field of lions. Many people would consider this true, many of you reading this won't know what the fuck I'm talking about. The truth of it all is up to you. You either like me or you don't. I found this particually interesting at the retreat I just attended. As I was walking to talk to someone, a particular person (I'm not going to name names, but he rsembles chewbacca off star wars) So as I was walking to talk to someone this French douche told me to get the fuck out and that no one liked me, as well as that by sources inform he wants to "bash" me. My initial response to this was to tell him he reminded me of a hairier versionof cousin it from the Adams family, but instead I confirmed to his idiotic request, and from here on I make it my mission to piss this French person off as much as possible. The point of this story unfolds to this. Most people would have argued and ended up calling huim a gayboor some other mutilation of words, but what would that have achieved other than agrivating the both of you, maybe a fist fight where you both end up looking like complete dicks.

The whole point of that paragraph might not be clear to everyone, but for some it will make amazing sense. Everyone takes life too seriously, devoting yourself to a God that you may SAY exists is stupid. Devoting your teenage years to getting drunk and womanizing will get you nowhere,and as much as people hate think about it, school is a waste of time too, some of the brightest minds of our time dropped out of school. Sucess in life isn't setermened by a few sheets of paper that say your good at playing the game of school. "But Jacob!!!!!!!!!! You need a good OP to get into UNI!!!!!1111111" no you don't you fucking dolt. The world caters for the lowest denomenator if you didnt notice. Anyone can be succesafull all you need to do is alter your persective of what succesafull is.

Now, we come near the end of the epic journey through the lands of blogging. But before I conclude I'm going to touch base on a few other things.

One thing the world needs is more pessimests to put all the optimistic faggots back in their right place. The best part about looking on the bad aide of everything is that I will never be dissapointed. Dissapointnebt leads tho a whole bunch of whit that no one wants to hear about. Everyone takes the world too seriously, fuck political correctness, fuck religion, if everyone thought for their own we wouldn't have anything to worry about.


I can't be fucked writing anymore on this smudged piece of shit.


tl;dr version: think for yourself.

If enough of you like my opinion I'll write more shit, the only reason I'm writing this right now is because my parents are complete intrusive fucks and when I refuse to follow their fasict piece of shit options they do the only thing they think effects me and take away my social life. Too bad those stupid. Cunts forgot our neighbours have an easily breakable highly unsecure wireless Internet connection I can straddle on my iPod.

- Grand Advisor Jacob "Wizard" MacKenzie, Supreme Overlord of the Internet, High Chancellor of the faculty of Awesome.

Greetings mortals.

So yesterday I walk into my office, looked outside, and don't remember what I did for 8 hours. I think I spent like 4 hours on bash.org

So today I figured I would do something slightly constructive, what better to do than ramble on in a deviantART Journal.

So for 3 weeks I've somehow passed the time between playing Zelda (I decided on a Wii, although only a week after it Super Smash Bro's, the reason I brought it, was delayed D

Apart from procrastinating where needed, I did do a bit of work, I have to put together a new website. Their current one looks like a six year old put it together - [link] - check out the screenshot I posted, the same theme is throughout the site.

I made it as simple as possible, but I dunno how it'll go down with the CEO, I can never get him alone for more than 30 seconds to talk about what he wants done with it.

Apart from that, the head of marketing has moved out of my room, giving me more time to do nothing, although when he pops in I have to pretend I'm doing something.

Other than that I havn't done much at all. Going to a Dream Theater concert on the 1st of Feburary - [link] - with a friend of mine, should be fun.

-mYstline out.

Well I'm sitting here yet again, bored out of my wits. I'm ment to be having a meeting with the head of this company I'm working for, but alas, his son got into a brawl and broke his nose. So he's off at the hospital, and I'm sitting here with my portfolio of designs, waiting for him to get back - though geting paid for it, so who's complaining - and untill then, there is yet again a gap in my schedual. I've done all the concepts for all of the pages he's asked me to do, and for some reason, I still can't figure out whats wrong with them.

Their just not fitting.. He wants boxes around links which don't need boxes. He wants buttons with text on them when all you need is text. I've tried convincing him to let me take care of it, but he's trying to take headway on it.

I really dont wanna follow his rules, but I have to because he's paying my paycheck. The whole website is falling apart because he wants it his way. The head of marketing here thought it was great when I had designed it, but now the head boss has got his hands onto it, its turning into a trainwreck, one that I dont particularly want to be on either.

I'm also torn between what to spend my money on. I'm definantly buying myself a new Ipod and a new console, however, I dont know what console to buy.

Wii or PS3.

Wii has Zelda, and soon Super Smash Bro's Brawl

PS3 has Metal Gear Solid 4 and Assassins Creed, as well as some of the old fun games like Crash Bandicoot. Devil May Cry as well /drool!

I also that to play Super Smash Bro's with your friends over the series of tubes thatm ake up the internet, you need to give each other your keys... That really sucks, beacuse now there will be no big random matches to join into. I was really looking forward to kicking some random person's ass over the internet

Oh well, I think its gunna come down to a coin toss when I get paid this weekend.

I also need to decide what I'm gunna eat for lunch! So many decisions.. so little time :/

mYstline out.